Food Network Star 8.01 Somethingcap
Food Network Star has managed to do the impossible: feel longer than an episode of Sherlock. Thing is, starting next week, both shows are around 90 minutes.
(Under cut, if it works: new format and bad sexual double entendres. No spoilers.)
The new format is this: three teams of five, 15 contestants. There’s a main challenge, and a winning team is picked. The losing teams have a candidate for elimination picked by Those Two People Who Think They Are THE Network, or Those Two People Who Are Using This Show for Infamy, or something. The candidates prepare a meal and present it on camera for a promo. The promo is shown to TTPWTTATN, the captains (Bobby Flay [nice guy, okay food IMHO]*, Alton Brown and Giada De Laurentiis), and the candidates. TTPWTTATN pick the loser, and, following the standard reality show conventions, they’ll cut the boring people first and keep the most annoying people until there’s enough people for an audience vote (back after, what, four seasons or so?). And then we’ll have a winnah.
Please note: your talent level and years of experience do not matter on this show, and if you’re not a professional chef, it’s highly likely you’ll win because Food Network likes non-professional chefs.
This week’s episode ripped of Top Chef’s Restaurant Wars. That’s all you need to know.
TL;DR: This show also lacks self-awareness. Behold:
Amazingly enough, no one realizes how dirty this sounds.
Also, this is a Vagina Table of Light™. I’m still lost on how anyone would think this would be a brilliant idea for a meeting table. Even The Apprentice wouldn’t have a Vagina Table of Light™—this is one thing Donald Trump has the common sense not to do.
And yet:
…I’ll be in my mind palace.
*Remind me to write about that, since I can’t find that experience on this blog.
